Do You Consider A Slap Domestic Violence?
The other day I did my normal web browsing to catch up on the latest celeb gossip. I saw an interview with Ariane from “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta” did with Power 105.1’s morning show, ‘The Breakfast Club.‘ I don’t know much about her, but from the little I gathered via the show, she seemed like a cool chick and loyal friend. She constantly told her BFF Mimi Faust–who was in a one-sided relationship with former producer Stevie J (*shivers*)–how beautiful she was and how she deserved more. I credited Ariane as being one of the few with sense—until I saw this interview.
The hosts–DJ Envy, Charlamagne tha God and Angela Yee asked about her thoughts on the whole K. Michelle/Memphitz debacle and she went on to explain how she was friends with both parties and couldn’t legitimately form an opinion because she wasn’t there at the time of the incident. Cool, I get that. What blew me completely off guard, though, was when she very matter-of-factly responded, “Absolutely!” the unfiltered controversy-fiend Charlamagne said, “She might have did something to get beat up.”
Wait! What? To justify her statement, she then said, “I’m not saying that women should be hit, but sometimes b*tches need to be slapped.” Very nonchalantly, she admitted to being slapped before. When asked what she’d done to get slapped–assuming there’s actually a good enough reason–she replied, “You know, my mouth is kind of reckless sometimes.” Another enthusiastic and assured “absolutely!” followed when she was asked if she felt as though she deserved it. In utter shock, I watched the rest of the interview but couldn’t really digest it because I was still trying to swallow her thoughts regarding domestic violence.
Did you see the interview? Watch it below. Skip to about the 10:40 mark for Ariane’s opinion on domestic abuse in regards to K. Michelle and Memphitz
I get that there are some crazy, ruthless ladies and gents out here, but unless you are put in a life or death situation and forced to defend yourself for survival, there’s never an acceptable reason to physically harm another human being—regardless of gender. “…My mouth is kind of reckless sometimes” is certainly not grounds for “b*tches needing to be slapped!”
Though Ariane’s thinking disturbs me, I accept the fact that she’s a grown woman and entitled to her own views—regardless of how outrageous I think they are. What stirs me up though is that she so comfortably and immaturely voiced them on the #1 urban radio morning show in the country. I’m support people verbalizing their thoughts, but some things are just better left unsaid.
Reality stars are like the new celebrity (I know, I know. It pains me to admit too). Though not a household name, Ariane has nearly 50,000 Twitter followers as of now so it’s safe to assume that she has solid, little fan base going on. With so many impressionable youngsters glorifying the life of reality TV stars, sending the message that it’s “okay” if a person physically violates them is irresponsible and dangerous.
In a society that already negates the severity of domestic violence, such a comment only perpetuates our insensitivity regarding the social ill. “Every nine seconds in the U.S., a woman is assaulted or beaten” and “every day in the U.S., more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends,” according to Domestic Violence Statistics. Domestic violence generally happens in stages: Verbal, next a push or shove, then a “needed” slap or punch, a few broken bones and bruises and eventually death is the final step.
Ariane ended the interview saying that she’d have a larger role on the second season of “LAHH ATL.” Hopefully she won’t use her new platform to spread more ignorant and regressive views. If so, we all need to be concerned.
What are your thoughts on Ariane’s comments? Do women sometimes just “need to be slapped?” SHM!!!!!
I slapped my husband after he called me a cunt. I knew I shouldn't have done it and I turned away to remove myself from the over the top situation. With my back to him, he pushed me over the end table, held me on the couch by my throat and verbally abused me some more.
ReplyDeleteThe DV counselor at the dept. of social services said that if I had made a report, it is possible that I would have been charged with domestic violence, not him. I hit him first - his response could be considered "self-defense".
Although my slap caused him no red marks, his actions bruised my back, hip, and legs (not to mention the absolute fear I felt while staring at his angry red, drooling face as he squeezed my airway tighter).
Thing is, I lost control and slapped him. I committed an act of domestic violence, and I apologized for it TO HIM, face to face, the next day after I returned from my safe house. He ranted and raved about how I was the abuser in our relationship.
Funny thing though... Years before he held my face to a hot stove burner and beat my head against the wall using my neck as a handle. (Got out of that one by pretending to pass out.) He never apologized for that. He also never apologized for blocking me in rooms, not letting me leave his presence when I wanted to go, holding my throat, grabbing my face and forcing me into a corners so he could control me better OR for shaking me like a rag doll, pushing me, and hitting me hard across the throat.
I was physically abusive one time. I make no excuses for what I did. To answer your question, yes, a "slap" is domestic violence. No one should lose control of themselves and hit someone UNLESS it is legitimate self-defense.
(BTW, verbal abuse is also domestic violence. Abusers use words to control long before they ever use their hands.)